Journey

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 19; the nineteenth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Life is a journey – Life’s actually a collection of smaller journeys,

Sometimes the destination matters, some times it’s the journey that matters at the destination point.

Anyways, all romantic things shown in movies seem so real & become alive in imaginations when love is in the air 

Correction -  love is arranged in the air – yes the saga of arranged marriage

Many of you must be already familiar with the TV series How I met your mother. This guy Ted, an architect, very nice guy, hopelessly romantic goes dating girls even after reaching 30, still his story continues, he tells his love story in reverse to his kids – the story of how he met their mom. In US people just pick up a girl at the bar for a date & see how it works out.

Contrary to this story, the story of typical Indian arranged marriage goes. 

Sunil’s a geek, it took him 22 years to realize that he is just like any other handsome hulk girl, sensitive, hopelessly romantic, damm emotional person.

            So it all started with Sunil getting scolding from the photographer at G K Wale, the most sought after photo studio especially for matrimony photos. First of all he was reluctant to get a photo specially made for matrimony purposes, when he could give any trip outing’s photo. The whole idea of appearing the best in first impression seemed lame & insane, it’s the worst part of you in looks or bad temper etc which has to be acceptable by your partner, the best of you is acceptable by any person anyway. Sunil wore his normal office formal shirt pant & sandals & with unshaven software engineer look, asked for a photo for matrimony. What 1500 for 6 snaps? Many of his friends are having SLR & are pretty good at photography & he would have got it done for free from them. The studio guy scolded him & asked him to get dresses in ironed shirt, trousers & black formal shoes etc. So he had to return to house, on the way brought new trousers & shaved & came back all shining! Its’s been years since he had that best look. Anyway the photo came surprisingly handsome, some enhancements were made although not told to do so, & circulated among his relatives just like advertisement pamphlets for a suitable match with a copy of bio data & horoscope.

The technique behind the fair & lovely advertisements was evident now, Ya boys applied fair & lovely before Fair & handsome. Why should girls have all the fairness?

                 After the home work of family background feedback or horoscope matching check, Sunil’s journey of searching for wife started. Seen some girls with their families discussing their family tree & origins etc & long boring conversations of both parties exaggerating the qualities of the boy & the girl, even missed a chance to talk exclusively with the girl in first round. Then there were many rounds & many girls, some rejected by him, some girls rejected him. One girl was so bold enough to cross legs & sit as if CEO of the company. One girl was afraid to talk & another started & never stopped. Weird questions, unusual silence are the norm. Feelings arouse & things need to move on when an alliance doesn’t materialize. The best part being you can start all over again.

In India a typical arranged marriage comprises essentially all the elders from girl staring at the boy like an antivirus software, as if they wanna know his full history, ofcourse the family background check etc would have been done beforehand.

In India, some people have assumptions & don’t think sensibly sometimes. One girl rejected Sunil, after he proposed his theory In DDLJ when Raj said that he closed his eyes while changing dress of Kajol, not only did kajol believe him but also the whole of India audience assumed this as true story & applauded at the concept, Oh come on, Raj was not gay & you know that still this movie runs in some theatre in Mumbai ! & bollywood hero can remain in the best of his senses even when he is drunk? Rajnikanth’s case is different. He just blinks even after taking a full bottle of sleeping pills. 

Anyway, the bottom line for bollywood movie to become a hit - sleeping together before the marriage never works in Indian love romantic story.

Once he had to lie about his drinking habit. Upon being asked by girl whether you drink?

Sunil’s reply was obviously - No. but when the girl said she drinks occasionally, Sunil had to lie that he too drinks- obviously occasionally. How difficult it is to find soul mate? If I represent Sunil’s qualities by a circle in Venn diagram & typical Indian hindu girl’s by other circles, Sunil was a small circle at the corner of the diagram. Does the maximum intersection area of boy’s & girl’s circles imply soul mates? Likes attract, opposite attract who knows?  I think soul mate is just overrated term used by matrimony advertisements. As the dialog in man from the earth goes, we can never be sure to prove a certain thing, no be certain to prove it otherwise, just go by the flow, just by the gut feeling. Or the new version of Aamir :  “ All is well ”.

    

While the boy is asked for this job details, family assets, house property etc, girls may be asked to sing apart from the normal introduction owing to the fact that music was an essential education on south India. Seems like girls have eliminated cooking & singing from their hobby list intentionally nowadays!

How cool the horoscope matching thing is, this tells compatibility of boy & girl even before they engage in meaningful conversations. Certainly a big business here. People who are well educated, who never took astrology seriously in their lives earlier also insist on this, simply to play safer.

Anyway, hope this journey comes to an end soon, to mark the beginning of new journey of married life.

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Moral science stories for kids 5: The one with moving on

Don’t get too much attached to things, Just move on in life, just go with the flow.

    Well, there are many quotes on how to live life, how not to live life. Some on never missing an opportunity, some on creating your own way etc.You gotta agree that there are some thing under our control & some things totally not under our control. Can we always have a philosophy for leading life something as :

“Do your best, forget the rest or just leave it to god”

What if success is just one proactive step away?  Is it that I am quitting trying just one step lower than success? You plan every minute detail about your journey towards your destination, like how to get to your dream job, what are the specific action points in your career path? Or that fantastic lake view apartment you have always planned with your hubby. You may work towards achieving them systematically, but still sometimes you may miss getting them. Well, if every small action determines your life’s path then you got to be extra cautious in getting those smallest actions done with precision. Even the smallest detour may have significant impact, sometimes in a positive way may be. Say for example if you apply for a job vacancy out of curiosity to just find out if you have a shot at it, & surprisingly you get the job & now you are in a confused state of mind as you were actually not prepared to quit the current one.

Well friends, things do come in life quite randomly, some anticipated & some others as a surprise. You got to go with the flow. There is no need to be too much emotionally or romantically attached to things, we have come with nothing in our hands & will go the same way, everything every possession, every person we loved is gonna be left behind in the end.

Only the things we experienced in life are to be enjoyed to the fullest in their moment, the beauty of the moment is that it passes by. Yesterday is a history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is the present, hence the name present. We may not have absolute full answers to all the questions we come across in life, but it happens that it’s not important to have the answers but it is relevant to know how to deal with those questions & this is what I think really matters.

Where will I be in 5 yrs?  Whom I gonna be married?  What are my expectations out of my partner?

How the hell to find out if I am the right or worthy guy for this girl? Questions will always be there, & then when you grow older, more questions, but the ability to handle them is what matters. You are more equipped to handle the bigger challenges as you grow older in life. Relatives & friends will always be there to guide you support you in you decisions etc. but they are not you, however closer they may be to you, they may not be able to guess your true desires & decide on your behalf on things you want in life. The ultimate decisions you take in your life should be by you alone considering the inputs from friends & relatives.  You need to control the sail of your boat of life.

  

Life runs on law of averages, if something bad happens, something good is also lurking around the corner. In the end its all the averages, finding your moments in small daily pleasures of life is what matter at the end as you look the big picture behind. 

Mysterious Life

A guitar with the broken string
flying the kite of life with a loose string
working hard to make ends meet
life with its mysterious swing
enjoying the mystical flow
seeming that it will all make sense one fine day

As destiny unfurls
with its amazing twists & turns
and the slopes & steeps
trying to stay ahead in the race,
sometimes realizing the destination never matters
As time passes by
the self discovery never ends


In the end its the life that triumphs
assuming that I danced to the rhymes of life
only to realize, am puppet in the hands of someone (girl friend/ life, not god ofcourse)

For dreams may come & dreams may go
only to make you more stronger than ever
Some moments you wanna relive
some moments you never wanna pass so quickly

That loneliness in the crowd
that search for some one special
then you came along
made me realize that some can be
as weird as me

away from home in search of something
trying to be someone for everyone
That deep desire to return home
only to realize that the home is not the same

Flushing down the memory lane
thoughts that disturbed
holding onto the good ones so badly
only to realize that everything gets left behind
only thing is the experience which counts at the end
making the life worth of living

the happiness is only real when shared
I am glad that you came along
to become the music of my lyrics
danced to the rhyme of life
So much in love with you & our life

Your first flower will wither in my book
but the memory stays afresh
your cheeks were like the pink petal
you were just a thought away
never missed you anyway

being there for me always in my arms

just living by the moment
making the most of the things we got
yet another day passes by
without regretting the crazy life we sought

PS: Still not complete, this is just about the mystery component in life, love etc.

Before Sunset & Before Sunrise : Movie review

Before Sunrise (1995) & Before Sunset (2004)

            Sometimes in the random walks of life, you meet some strangers with whom you really connect on an emotional level or intellectual level, totally agree to an opinion or statement, seems as of you are speaking to yourself. You tend to be amazed in the moment of resonance when your frequency matches with the frequency of the other person. Well if they happen to be of opposite sex, well this can be tagged soul mate, personally I believe the soul mate concept is overrated and oversold by the matrimony advertisements. But that moment shared has something special to last sometime if not for ever in your life. This movie is just about two strangers striking a pleasant conversation and when you will be expecting something more to be in the story you need to see the sequel Before Sunset. This American guy Jesse who is on a Europe trip on a train only because he does not want to get back home soon, meets a French girl Celine who takes the train too afraid to fly to her home. The fact that Jesse needs to fly back to US in day and seeing that they get along so well, dares to ask her out, in this sense ask her to come out to train, to just walk & talk on the streets of Vienna.They get along so well, they talk for the entire day and believe me the conversations are so interesting, refreshing kind of that it makes you feel its good sometime to take out that ipod or FM earphones and look for such a possibility in bus or train.    

Here’s a quote from the movie - Into the Wild : 

Christopher McCandless: The core of mans' spirit comes from new experiences….

Extending this idea, I suppose this includes meeting new people, making new friends, sharing & exploring their personalities, appreciating their thought process etc.

            Well, we meet so many people in life, most of them you do not stay in touch with, some come with a reason to change your life, and some come with a reason to change your life forever. Sometimes we share a special connection, similarity in thoughts, not necessarily similarity in thoughts but considering & respecting each other views & respecting boundaries.

Thanks to nowadays iPods, podcasts, FM etc. people just put them are like holding sign boards, don’t disturb me, I am least interested in you or a possible conversation between us.

There is so much diversity in nature, each one even though raised with same background two people have so much different assumptions, perceptions about life. Who has time for others these days. But sometimes when we are bored being with ourselves only, need a companion to share thoughts, consider what the other person is thinking, etc. They talk about all things under sky & beyond, just casual talk taking no where. Everyone is entitled to their opinions anyway.

          You know this one kind of portrays as a light hearted story, unlike the heavy, intense ones like Shawshank Redemption or Forrest Gump movies which tell the story of a life time, this though is just a moment captured of lives of two random people, and some of the dialogs are very intense, leave you wondering about them.

We see life through our own mindset, through a small window of our perceptions and assumptions, The beauty of a moment is in its virtue that it passes by & this makes it worth living & enjoying it the most. So if you just take a moment to feel its passion,  its glory, its importance, it becomes a memory and then life goes on …some memories you forget, some can never be forgotten.

Totally must watch for its calmness & serenity. 


I love this poem in the movie, may be for its hidden dimensions, it says a lot though : 

Daydream delusion, limousine eyelash 

Oh baby with your pretty face

Drop a tear in my wineglass

Look at those big eyes

See what you mean to me

Sweet-cakes and milkshakes

I'm a delusion angel 

I'm a fantasy parade

I want you to know what I think

Don't want you to guess anymore

You have no idea where I came from 

We have no idea where we're going

Lodged in life

Like branches of a river

Flowing downstream

caught in the the current
I carry you

you carry me

That's how it could be

Don't you know me

Don't you know me by now ?