Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts

Friday, August 17, 2012

Usernames & Passwords

Shakespeare said:  What's in a name ?

Well, there can be anything or nothing in a name, but  I suppose there is a lot that can be revealed from a username & passwords of  people. When there can be handwriting analysis etc, I wonder why we don't have username/password analysis. There is certainly a lot of insight that can be obtained from the same. usually one keeps the name of something unforgettable as password. On the lighter side, here is a collection of some of the same of characters from popular sitcoms to go first....


Username  : Sheldon_rocks
Password  : Sheldon_just_rocks*007^

Username  : Leonard
Password  : IwaanbeBadGuy

Username  : Rajesh_USA
Password  : Ilovemysweater&jetski

Username  : Penny_theactress
Password  : Ijustloveshoes

U : HowardWolowitz
P : SpaceScientist

U : Monicageller
P : iwannacleanthewholeworld

U : Rachel
P : fashionpassion

U : Ross_the_digger
P : Itsalwaysbeenrachel

U : Chandler_jokesinc
P : JaniceOhMyGod!

U : Janice
P : ItsalwaysbeenChandlerhhhaaaa!!!

U : Chandler_jokesinc
P : bingbingbing

U : Chandler_jokesinc
P : bingbingbing

U : Joey
P : Howyoudoin?

U : Phoebe
P : haanweirdohaan?

U : SonuNigam
P : ohohooooooahaaaaha   (song :  Ab mujhe raat din...)

U : MonmohanSingh
P : sshhhhhh.....

U: Rajnikanth
P: It is said that Super computers crashed after Rajnikanth keyed in the password.

U: Rajnikanth
P: The repeating digits of Pi.

U: Rajnikanth
P: No site dares to ask Rajnikanth the password, it just knows to login.

U : Charlie_Harper
P : xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx&x

U: Alan_harper
P: Iamnotatotalloser_really

U: Jake_thecool_kid
P: Whatev

U: Priyanka_chopra
P: ihatethechipchip

U: ShahRukh_Khan
P: kkkkkkiran

U: SpellofNeha (my wife is a harry potter fan)
P: < doesn't need password, the spell is supposed to sign in into the account, but essentially one needs to be flying on broomstick first >

more to come along here.....

Image Credits : http://www.clubhack.com/tag-cloud-of-most-popular-usernames-and-passwords/

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

On our Anniversary

Moving from bachelor to married lifestyle bring in a lot of changes, well, here is a collection of my personal experiences


Side effects of marriage :
Instant Maggie gets delayed by longer duration depending on the mood of your spouse!

The girl who just spoke a sentence when you first met her, later after marriage speaks so much & never gives you a chance to speak even a sentence.

You realize that fruits are also edible, apart from being used as cosmetic products.

Everything in your house looks pink, & really tiny. The dust bin is too small & too cute to be used to contain waste products.

There is a wardrobe full of clothes, yet there is nothing to wear. So shopping weekend again.

Weekends are dedicated for shopping. Shopping must be declared a religion for girls since they follow it so religiously.

The smaller the thing, the more exact color it must be. Shopping becomes your religion too, something more important & regular than brushing your teeth or taking a bath.

The whole market having everything lacks the small accessory of exact color. This is confirmed by a lot of repeated searching.

You realize that you may have color blindness, there are so many colors you never cared to recognize in your life until now.

Women always try to compete to talk more than they can think of. So you tend to talk a lot, more than you can digest.

There are more emotions on the face of your wife, than the emoticons used in the chat messenger & you are supposed to know all of them, worse is to remember & recall them.

Sometimes when you are alone, with no sound around, you tend to miss your spouse.

The most difficult question to answer is what were you thinking? Women have a problem for any given answer for this, no answer is good for this. Say if you reply 'I was thinking nothing', I was watching TV & thinking nothing, How come you were not thinking, you were thinking about that girl in the advertisement right ?  I know you were thinking something fishy. All you boys are the same, I know you hide things from me, I am the only one who pours all my feelings out. Arre, girls, Please try speaking less than you can think of.  

But the bottom line is you get the love & care like never before!
You get someone to share that big water Mellon, someone who waits for you to return for dinner, no matter how late it is, someone who tells you not to waste food & someone to eat the food left over in your plate. Sometimes even the same old Maggi tastes great, not only because you are hungry, but your spouse made it sprinkling extra love & care. You never wear a shirt with button missing, there is someone who will make sure about this, & most importantly when you are sick or you are in one of the downs of your life, there is someone to take care of you. isn't this worth living for , worth dying for ?  It’s such small things which bring joy in the relationship. The special care & importance making you feel that you mean whole world to someone is just too great.
You are just someone to the world but you are the world to someone!

You realize happiness is only real when shared. & you are glad that you finally found the one person to share the happiness of your life!

To the world you may just be someone, but to someone you may be the whole world."

Here is one I made up:   My love is not quantized as light, but intangibly infinite as the universe itself.
Celebrating an year of our friendship with the theme song of F.R.I.E.N.D.S.  Happy anniversary Sweety !






I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour.
I'll be there for you, like I've been there before.
I'll be there for you, cause you're there for me too.








Source: http://www.lyricsondemand.com/tvthemes/friendslyrics.html
Image : google images 

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Rajnikanth quotes, jokes, sms






The above two pics are from net, below quotes are mine : 
========================================================================
Rajnikanth codes directly in the hex or executable file. 

Rajnikanth does not get compiler errors, whatever he codes becomes the syntax. 

Once Rajnikanth was denied onsite, all the onsite colleagues came offshore to work with him ! 

Which frame has highest priority on CAN,  air bag signal ? Brk signal ? - No it's Rajnikanth's frame

All nodes back off when Rajnikanth wants to transmit a frame - even the bus monitoring signal - CSMA CD stuff.

Rajnikanth can put a breakpoint in the hex file & debug . 

Rajnikanth can write a C program without main. He is the main 

Rajnikanth has already #defined the #define to Rajnikanth 

When Rajnikanth tries to send frame on CAN all nodes back off, permanently.

Rajnikanth once attended the skip level meeting, The CEO of company raised some genuine concerns to Rajnikanth. 

Rajnikanth's just one soldier can beat everyone in chess, with just one move. 

Once Rajnikanth ran Misra check for his files & gave Rajnikanth's warnings to Misra. 
(Misra is coding guidelines to be followed by some automotive electronics embedded companies )

Every semicolon in c should be terminated by Rajnikanth, he is the end of all things 

The Ansi C compiler has changed the null character \0 to Rajnikanth. He is the end of all things. 

Intel has now agreed to change their punch line, " Rajnikanth inside, Logic outside" 

Rajnikanth once keyed in high level language on 8085 & it ran. 

Rajnikanth's car does not need MIL, he knows what error has occurred. 

Rajnikanth by mistake typed the attributes twice value - this became xml. 

Rajnikanth played scrabble & ran out of alphabets in first chance itself.

Once the MIL (malfunction indicator lamp) glowed y mistake, Rajnikanth was son angry that it never turns on now again, the headlights are always turned on in fear, indicators are just too confused.

The true name of Rajnikanth was Rajnican't, but there was nothing Rajni can't do. Hence it was renamed to Rajnikanth.

=======================================================================
Yet another copy paste from net

Keep Smiling !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 "Guys This is SERIOUS, Please Stop making Jokes on Rajnikant da .....or
else.He will Delete the INTERNET altogether daa MIND ITT!!!.."

1. Once upon a time Rajnikanth used a tooth powder to get strong teeth.
. .
today that powder is used as AMBUJA CEMENT

2* Once Rajnikanth was playing Cricket and Rain Stopped due to Heavy
Play.

3*Once Rajnikanth gone for a walk and after one hour police arrested him
u know why... He reached USA and having No Visa with him

4* Rajnikanth was practicing for spelling test. The rough sheet he used
is today known as the oxford dictionary!!

*Hrithik tried to participate in a dance competition with Rajnikanth.
Result: He is in a wheel chair in Gujarish.

6* Rajnikanth was once told to choose 3 subjects when he got admission
in Jr.college................ He chose science, arts and commerce!!!!!!!

7*Rajnikanth can make calls from his iPod to his iPad...!!!

8*One nite, while asleep, Rajnikanth was mumbling some random numbrs...
Thats how the Log table was invented.

9*One day Rajnikanth bunked school. Since then it is known as Sunday

10*Once Rajnikanth was on the hot seat of KBC....
And the computer needed lifeline to choose the question. Mind it!

11*Micheal Jordan to Rajini: I can spin a ball on my finger for over two
hours. Can you?
Rajni: Rascala, how do you think the earth spins!?

12* Roger Federer: I know everything about tennis. You can ask me
anything.

Rajnikanth: Ok. Tell me, how many holes are there in the NET??

13*All scientists failed to answer this but Rajnikant did...
Ques: Which liquid turns solid on heating?
Rajni: DOSA..

14. Once a big stone obstructed Rajani's way.
He kicked high in sky and now it is so called . . .The MOON

15. Once when shooting on a beach in Tamil Nadu, Rajanikant kicked a
stone..
Now that stone is known as . . . . SRI LANKA


16. Rajinikant participated in 100 meter race and obviously he came
first...
But Einstein died after watching that. . . bcoz . . . . LIGHT came
second


17.Once Rajinikant participated in Moto gp Bike race......Don't even try
to guess wat happened .
Rajinikant won d race on neutral gear!


18. Rajinikanth doesnt breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.


19. Once Rajinikant went to Bhopal for shooting and had a stomach
upset.....and the result was.. . . .  BHOPAL GAS TRAGEDY


20. 1 day Rajinikant got angry on his sweeper boy., he kicked him so
hard that he went flying in the sky with is broom... 2day that boy is
famous as "HARRY POTTER".


21. Before Tom Cruise, Rajnikant was approached for the movie "Mission
Impossible" but he refused . . . . as he found the title insulting


22. Once Rajnikanth was asked how he felt about the jokes made on him
which were spreading through sms and internet.
To everyone surprise he started laughing and replied-Ennada Do you
really think they are jokes?


23. Rajni once taught a child how to play counter strike and that guy is
now called.............. "OSAMA BIN LADEN"

thats rajini mindit


24. Once Dinosaurs borrowed money from Rajnikanth and refused to payhim
back... . .......That was the last time anyone saw Dinosaurs


25. Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are
today called giraffes.


26. As a kid Rajnikant maintained a diary of day to day activities,
today that diary called as.
. . . . . . . . Guinness Book Of World Records

27. Once a boy inserted A CD named Rajnikanth into his PC... Guess
wot...
. . . . .His PC started Rotating around the CD rom

28. Intel's new tag line for its processors ........... "Rajnikanth
Inside"

29. Once Rajnikant taught a boy how to kiss. Now that boy is known as '.
. . . Emran Hashmi'

30. When Rajinikant croses the Road, the cars have to look . . . . left
and right before moving.

31. If Rajnikant was born 100 years back, British would have fought to
get independence from India !! :


32. People who set CAT paper will have to pass RAT paper from this year
onwards.

Yes RAT paper.... : : Rajnikant Aptitude Test !!!



=======================================================



Rajanikanth Funny Joke "Mind It"

When Rajnikant was studying in 3rd std....someone stole his rough note....&
Now they call it as .............Wikipedia

When Rajnikant was a Student¦!!!
Teachers use to Bunk the classes!!!

Rajnikant started college. All students were confused while taking admission because name of college is

"Rajnikant's Medical College of Engineering for Commerce".

THE MOST NEGLECTED FACT OF THE ENTIRE DECADE!!!!
Sachin Tendulkar's mothers name is RAJNI Tendulkar
And his coach's name is ramaKANT
Is there a need to say anything beyond this???

Rajinikant got 150 questions in exam paper asking - "Solve any 100 questions"
He solved all 150 and wrote, " Rascalla!, CHECK ANY 100!"

One day Rajani thought to play cricket in monsoon and rain stopped due to play.

Rajnikanth's next project is the Titanic in Tamil. However, Rajni has twisted the climax. Both the lead actors survive. Rajni swims across the Atlantic Ocean with the heroine in one hand and... The Titanic in the other

"Who says the world will be destroyed in Dec 2012..Rajnikant just bought a Laptop with three years warranty"

Rajni can walk faster than light.
"Rajni cannot be created or destroyed; it can only be changed from one form to another".

Law of Conservation of Rajni

All scientists failed to answer this but rajnikanth did...
Ques: Which liquid turns solid on heating?
Ans: Dosa... mind it!!!

Once a photo of Rajnikant was given for Xerox. Don't even try to guess what happened.

We got two copies of the Xerox machine.

One more:
Once upon a time Rajnikant used Tooth Powder to get strong teeth today that powder is known as
"AMBUJA CEMENT"

================================================================
Rajnikanth was shot today... Tomorrow is the bullet`s funeral!

Rajnikanth killed a terrorist in Pakistan 'via Bluetooth'!

Rajnikanth can draw a straight line with a compass!

Rajnikanth knows who let the dogs out!!

Rajnikanth`s pulse is measured in Richter scale!

The new Rupee symbol is actually Rajnikanth`s signature!!!

When God watched Robot, he said, "Oh my Rajnikanth!"

Rajnikanth has a statue of Madame Tussauds at his house!!

Rajnikanth is the secret of Boost`s energy, and Complan is a Rajnikanth boy!

Rajnikanth participated in 100m race, obviously he came first, but

Einstein died watching that since Light came second!!

Intel's new ad: "Rajnikanth Inside" 

When Alexander Graham Bell first used his telephone, he realized that he already had two missed calls from Rajinikanth.

Why does needle of magnetic compass always point towards North??? . . Because, RAJINIKANTH lives in the South and no one has guts to point at him!!! 

The apple which fell on Newton was actually thrown by Rajinikanth!

An email was sent from Pune to Mumbai, Rajinikanth stopped it in Lonawala! 

Rajinikanth can whistle in 5 different languages! 

Only Rajinikanth knows why Mona Lisa is smiling.

Rajinikanth is the only person in the world who can make his girlfriend admit her mistake!

Rajinikanth went to the world cooking championship...of course Rajini won. But guess what did he make in final??? Lal mirchi ki meethi kheer.

======================================================================================
Rajnikanth can observe all the messier objects, ......without the telescope  !  

Rajnikanth does not adjust the focus for clear visibility, the object under observation moves back -forth in space so that Rajnikanth can observe it clearly. 

 Rajnikanth;s camera is not having exposure option, as all the photons come faster & for the image quickly when he is taking a pic. 

Rajnikanth does not use averted vision. the object of interest moves side wards to adjust the Rajnikanth's eye  

when Rajnikanth starts to observe, all clouds move to the other hemisphere ! 
It was Rajnikanth who observed all the galaxies are moving away from each other, naked eye !   
Once Akarsh & Rajnikanth went for DSO, Akarsh packed his big telescope, & lots of star charts.  Rajnikanth just brought his sunglasses !
Rajnikanth sees color in eyepiece !  
Rajnikanth has memorized all the star charts & does not need any now !    

First Amar was also having big telescope like Akarsh, but since he did the mistake of inviting Rajnikanth for Messier marathon, Rajni got angry & the effect :  Amar roams around with binoculars !    
Since marathon was insult for Rajnikanth, since he could cover all of them in no time !  

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