Wish1

  

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 12; the twelfth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

As she disconnected from me 

without telling a reason,

without a hint of what went wrong

Leaving me bewildered & wondering in agony

I was sure we could work things out

whatever they were, with minor adjustments

I could change myself completely for her

I could have gone extra miles for setting things right

As I always knew I was not the perfect one for her

But I knew deep within, that this was not the reason,

a reason she preferred not to reveal

But I know for sure there was some other reason

a reason beyond my awareness,

a reason she never wanted me to know

I knew without a doubt that she could never be unfaithful

just fighting hard to accept her destiny as mine.   

probably it was an obligation

a compromise included in her destiny

But I know she could never have never been unfaithful to me

As she went ahead

She turned to look at me one last time

With tears in her eyes, & a trembling smile

Telling the obvious truth

It was not her choice to depart

But the result of embracing her destiny

I wish I could her hug her for one last time

as she kissed goodbye from a distance apart

For the miles we walked together seemed infinitesimally small

there was still a long way ahead, in the wonderland of our dreams

in the beautiful & abundant life

in the life awaiting to make our dreams come true

My heart was sealed for her

I thought of none except her

The faith & trust which kept our love alive

I know, i can never love anyone that way

As our love was most pure & eternal

With her gone & with unwilling desire to move on

I just have one small wish left.

I just wish her pain reduces

Suppressing the wish, she could be mine again

to live the promises we made long before

which seem to now disappear in vain

I know you will not return baby

I know we can never be together again

But I will keep waiting for you now & for ever

You can find me at cross roads where we separated

I will be there until the end of time waiting for you to return

Coz that’s the only thing which makes sense

In this life which is meaningless without you.

I know you can never be mine

Still I refuse to accept this reality

For what’s left after this

Is a sense of void without even a silly hope of your return?

The last flower from you will wither in my book

though the memories of our time together will remain afresh in my heart

there is nothing other than memories to move on in life

rather feels to move backward to relive the moments we were together.

Just once again.

I feel so cold inside

Missing all the warmth of love & care within

For there are only memories to recall

The ones to cherish for the remaining lifetime

Sometime’s life is bit unfair

Depriving small aspirations too,

For all the love we shared , I think destiny was more than generous

But this is just not the way I wanted it to end

I wish she could be mine forever,

Hopefully I could run into her in next lifetime

Hope she recognizes me then

For I will the same as I am now

Her mad lover boy. 

Loving her more than anything else.

I will miss you deeply, deep within my hearts

Amidst all these thoughts, as I realize the obvious truth

I feel a sense a soothing, a relaxed breadth in eternal bliss

For I know for sure that our destiny is not written separately

within no time, we shall be together

high up in the sky, just like a binary star

I will be yours & you will be mine

Pyar ke rahon mein chalna tumne sikhaya....

Pyar ke haseen ehsaason ke sapne sajana tumne sikhaya....

Zindagi ke najane kis ajeeb mod pe, jab tum chal diye apne raaste, tanha hum reh gaye...

Tere intezaar mein hum khade hai unhe raahon mein, jahan hum judaa ho gaye.....

Amen

PS: the situation is lady love departing from his lover, owing to her some unknown obligation in her life, the concept in last stanza is based on thought somewhere i read in a book or saw in a movie that "when a person dies, they become a star" So i extended it to lovers i.e binary stars(close stars revolving around each other, bound together by gravity or love in this case :-) Ya somewhere had to bring the amateur astronomy touch & feel to this post as well :-))

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Wish

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 12; the twelfth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

                 I have always loved ice cream, though not tasted all the flavors, probably because I always end up with having butterscotch as this is my favorite. I never visited ice cream parlor exclusively  to eat one, but it happened on one pleasant evening, I was once hanging out with a couple of friends in an ice cream parlor….One of those modern, colourful ones, with background music & stuff you know so that they can overprice the menu owing to all the nice ambience...just like CCD's which I think are too show-off as what’s there in a Rs80 or Rs100 coffee? Do they put gold & silver powder in it? I think you can visit sometimes when you are pretty sure if something could happen over a coffee, may be when your astrologer has told that you would meet your special someone soon or something like that, as their punch line says ‘a lot can happen over a coffee’....I would be rather happy if ‘kuch kuch ho gaya’ rather than ‘bahut kuch ho sakta hai’ . Yeah, Hindi movies really liberate us!!

        So, coming to my story, there I was in the ice cream parlor. We sat next to a table occupied by bunch of girls of almost same age group as ours I suppose. I sat besides a girl whom I could make out was very pretty by just observing her head from backside..Oh yes we had gained this expertise or intuition by improving on our observational skills on girls over a long period of time. Though not intentional, I could overhear her sweet voice, she was telling to her friend that she was not ready for it yet, there are signs everywhere & she is looking for them to find the one meant for her. I could instantly figure out that she was talking about soul mate. Well, I have myself believed in soul mate funda, you start to believe in such things when you remain single for many years hoping that the right one will come along soon. I have felt “she is the one” kind of feeling for at least four girls I ran across in my life. And because of this number, the faith in this idea was dwindling away. All of a sudden, I gathered courage & turned around & asked her,” Can you tell me what time it is”? She looked at me & as I looked into her green eyes & realized she was the most beautiful person I have ever seen. She was just perfect with that smile, simple yet so charming face with open hair, that moment took my breadth away. Most of the girls would give a plain or angry look when strangers asked this question. But probably owing to my polite voice, fortunately I received a sweet smiling look. “There is a clock on wall right in front of you & don’t you have a mobile?” she said smilingly looking at my wrist ensuring that I did not wear a watch. I instantly replied that “I felt time stopped after seeing you….you are so beautiful” & just was checking the same. Wow!! That was pretty nice! Probably the most romantic thing I ever came up.
          ”Well thanks, its 6 0 clocks & time’s still running, probably I am not that beautiful” she replied again with her cute smile. “Hey all that sign stuff, is it a religious thing or you started believing after feeling it somewhere, sometime !! ? “Do you often hear to other people's conversations”? She asked pleasantly. “Why do you want to know? “I just thought this was too deep in a place like this. I have had this feeling of soul mate couple of times before & now I don’t believe in it too much. “Oh! that’s bad, Well it was not a true feeling then” she said. By this time our friends had noticed us & let us free to talk, without interrupting. She further explained that she believed our destiny was already decided & we have to just read the signs for it.” I happen to think there is an explanation beyond every reason, beyond logic that brought you here besides me...the exact day & time when I dropped at this place having wonderful time with you”!! From the blank look on my face she asked “you don’t believe in all this, do you?” I said “There is no master plan as it would be too complex as it will involve so many people”. She asked “Was it not fate that you were sitting in this chair besides me?” I said “No, this was no fate, this was just the fun to have ice cream that brought us both here” & I asked why would fate take all this trouble? “So that I can eat ice cream next time with you” came the reply. Sure, shall we sneak out for some fresh air? I realized the feeling when I said the word ‘We’, that there a special connection between us. I knew she was the one, though I felt she was way out of league for me, but I held onto thought that “both being perfect is not important in a relationship, being perfect for each other is the one that really matters!! She seemed like an angel just placed on earth for me & it was wonderful to believe that I was her angel. She agreed, as she was beginning to enjoy us being together, I suppose. This was so filmy you know like a guy meets a girl in a bar & they wake up in bed the next morning, except we ended up in true love. As we walked, we talked a lot about these soul mate stuff, likes dislikes of each other & found so much similarity in our life styles, until the end of the road, where we could see the setting sun. With great courage I held her hand & this was the most wonderful thing ever occurred to me for I knew exactly what I needed in life, I needed her!! I felt, that she was the one for me though I knew nothing about her just like seeing a signboard in her hands saying soul mate, it’s these little abstract beliefs that matter the most when you are in love with someone & keep you bounded. You just tend to go with the flow. The time spent was like a short moment, hoping the sun to take a little longer to set. It’s not the ice creams that brought us together, but the melting of hearts…in the warmth of one another. She said “So, aren’t you going to ask me out again?” I would love to…just was wondering about your reply, She said “I would love to meet you again”. That gave me relief, so can we meet at this place again? Sure, here I shall write my number, she started writing in my palm. I could feel the tickling & suddenly I heard the voice of my friend “saale uth jaa be …saala din mein bhi itna soota hai !!. I immediately saw my palm & there was nothing on it!! Yes, I was awake from my dream & now I was so upset that this all was a dream. I wondered if I had slept a couple of seconds more I could have got her number & her name!! At least possibly could call her in next time I dreamt about her in the dream world. So, there she was just a dream girl in a dream world. The only regret is, I did not kiss her goodbye before I was awake. Now often I insist on visiting ice cream parlors hoping I may run across that girl in my dreams!! Probably I may meet her again in a day dream itself I suppose!! It’s so wonderful, isn’t it? Bits & pieces of aspirations orchestrated so nicely to form a beautiful dream that I WISH could have been a reality.

Someday sometime you will be mine baby !!
Some where sometime I will meet you baby !!  

Kitne door door ho un dono ke rasate...

mil jaate hai jo bane ek duje ke vaaste...ek duje ke vaaste....

haqeeqat mein na mile to na sahi, sapane mein he sahi....

someone somewhere is made for u....

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

The rainbow in the spectrum of life….( various shades of life with my beloved)

                                                

                                              You are beautiful, so beautiful

                           with sweet smile and a soothing calm

                        with serene outlook and clarity of thoughts

                   I found a peace within, the peace of deep blue sky,

           and bright blue sea, and a million wonderful moments just fly by

          Just like evening sun leaves behind a million sparkles on ocean water.

                         the expressions on your face told a million things

          things of joy and happiness in life which we are going to embark upon.


           It took just a moment to realize that you are the love of my life

                         You are the special one I was waiting for

        even nature celebrating our love with a rainbow stretched across the sky

                        a sign of various colours in our splendid life

                       You are so sweet as an ice cream and a milkshake

                                    a handmade elegance of nature

                         my heart is a pendulum between you and time

                                     a moment thinking about you

                       and another desperately waiting to be with you.

                             The charm on your face, so irressistable

                         my heart skipped a beat and eyes never blinked

                              You are my desire, my life, my fire.

                    Just can’t wait to hold you, can’t wait to say I Love you

                            As we take the first steps of life together

                         Seeking pleasure in the daily chores of life

                         Promising the best I could do to keep you happy

                        As I write this, a tear flows down on my cheek,

                      I make a promise not to let even one from your eyes.

                      As I realize I may not be romantic or may not rhyme

                                      But my feelings are true

                          hope you could understand the depth of them

                     A depth we can call home, deep within our hearts !

                                             In the rhythm of life

                    you fill melody as friend, wife and as mother of my kids.

                                            the music just plays on

                                  As I come out of this dream world

                                 and embrace reality, there you were

                            Welcoming me just the way I wanted it to be

                                  Things just moved on just like a dream

                                   Needed more time to take it slower

                                 You were just like an angel in a dream,

                                 Now I know that you are my real angel !

                              As the frequency of heartbeats synchronized

                                resonated in the bliss of being with each other

                                      We realized we are inseparable

Finding a way !

             I was really very impressed by this pic & thought it deserved a blog-post, How true isn't it ? If we intend to do something really, your mind just desperately overworks to devise a method, a plan, a way to accomplish it somehow. If it's a bit on unlawful side, later there is philosophy which comes to rescue, and we can take comfort in its belief, proving the righteousness of our action. One confession: I was really impressed by an article "Seven mysteries of physics" in New Scientist magazine, in old racks of my School/College library, which nobody read anyway. I liked it so much that i just wanted it & devised a clever way to steal it without getting caught, coz i knew how the system works, not the system of check being done at exit, but the librarian not allowing me to have the book, in-spite of truly expressing my interest. This was a tough job, though not as tough as Oceans's folks stealing a Casino. I would have regretted if I had not done that.  Anyway, thanks to internet which allows access to knowledge across the world.

             We have got to do the best with what god gave us, the resources which we have, tell me if there is any other way to be happy ?  Finding an excuse is very easy. There can be hundred arguments to not to the do the work & lazily lie on the couch , dusting oneself up & get moving is the key. Just being careful not to allow procrastination to creep in, otherwise things will have assurance to be accomplished but may never be as life is short. Rethink on your assumptions about everything, strengths weakness etc etc & reevaluate the strategy time to time. Don't apply obsolete methods which may fail in this kalyug. Whatever you do have a plan B , plan C also if possible, & allow enough happiness in you plan B to keep the people around you happy.
I think I must stop, thats a overdose of philosophy, that too on a Sunday !